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The other night I had the worst nightmare of my life. Now nightmares are a common occurrence for me. I have all different types, at all different levels. I have ones I have dubbed “anxiety” nightmares. Nightmares may be too strong of a word for them, but basically they are dreams were I am in very stressful situations that I cannot get out of. Probably the most common version of this nightmare for me is I am pretty much dropped into one of my old jobs, but not given any updates on how things run these days. I know this sounds minimal, but they are extreme situations. And one of the things I always prided myself on at any of my old jobs was being in control. So these dreams are very upsetting to me, and usually leave me feeling like I have not slept.

I have nightmares of horrible things happening to people I care about. For example the other night I had one where an old friend of mine had fallen into a coma.

I also have typical monster type dreams. These are probably less upsetting to me, depending on their intensity level. I have ones where Freddy is chasing me, or something like that. They sound cheesy, and they are. Most of them are mildly upsetting.

However my nightmare the other night was the worst! I guess it could qualify as a monster nightmare, but it was much worse than that. I can’t begin to describe it and have it make any sense to anyone but me. I can say it was based on ghosts, but not at the cheesy and amusing level. I woke up yelling things, and unable to breath! This is where things get really weird. I looked at the entrance of my room, and saw someone standing there. I say I saw it because as sure as I am typing this, I knew I saw it. At first I thought it was Paul’s mom, then the longer I stared I realized it wasn’t. Then it was just gone. I was disturbed to say the least. I got out of bed, I had no interest in continuing the dream. And in my head, I was absolutely convinced that our apartment was haunted! However as my head cleared, I relived the event of the “shadow” in the doorway. The more and more I thought about it, I realized I could not have seen what I thought I did. And I have a few reasons for this conclusion. For one it was 4am and absolutely dark in our apartment. There were no computer monitors on, no TVs, no light at all. The second reason is that without my glasses, I am blind as a bat. I could have never seen anything at that distance. The thing that makes this so extreme for me, is that this has never happened to me before. When I “saw” the thing in my doorway, I was positive I was awake. I was thinking about how extreme that nightmare had been. I have never had the lines between awake and sleep so completely blurred like that.

I realize that people may be thinking that I use the term nightmare too liberally. Not all unpleasant dreams are nightmares. And I know this. What causes me to put a dream into the nightmare category is really the anxiety level. If it is so high that my sleep is unsettled, and I wake up emotionally bothered or feeling completely unrested, I call those my nightmares. I guess other people have different qualifications for nightmares, but that is mine.

I did not write this to whine. My sleep problems have plagued me as long as I can remember, and I am quite used to them. I guess that is why the level at which this particular nightmare got to me really bothers me. A lot of my dreams I attribute to my anxiety problems and mental issues. I guess…I am just really tired.

Tags: anxiety, ghost, Life, nightmares, sleep disorders

This is part 2 of my series on Beading Ideas. I am hoping that I can help to inspire some of my fellow beaders, and maybe even encourage some of my own inspiration!

As I sit here working on a series of Patriotic necklaces, I would say my next idea for beading is pay attention to the season! If you are just beading for fun this of course is completely dependent on times of the year that you deem to be important. However if you are like me and you are attempting to sell your creations, you should consider the holidays and seasons of your desired audience.

Since I started my shop just about 3 months ago, I have really had a hard time catching up with seasons and holidays. For example, before spring I would have liked to list a lot of anklets. Since I didn’t, I spent most of spring trying to catch up on anklet orders as well as get an established anklet inventory in my shop. If you are like me, and not exactly on top of what is in for which seasons, just do a search on the web. Or look at forums, people tend to express what they want.

Besides specific types of jewelry, also keep in mind colors and patterns that relate to the upcoming holiday or season. My heart and shamrock patterns displayed in the first part of this series are a prime example of this. I sold about 12 different versions of the heart pattern for Valentine’s Day! And for spring, I listed a lot of new items made with pastel colors, and pinks and purples. Just colors that I have always considered “springy”. I also used a lot of charms like butterflies and dragonflies. Now for summer I am using bolder colors, and lots of flip flop charms! With the 4th of July quickly approaching, I am designing a lot of red, white and blue items. I know it sounds like common sense, or maybe too simple to be true. But these seasonal items are fantastic sellers for me! I know that at the end of next winter I will stock a very large inventory of anklets!

My brick stitch earrings tend to run very long, usually over 3.5 inches. Recently I sold a customer a pair of earrings that I made when I first started brick stitching. They were very short, less than 2.5 inches long. For some reason I got it in my head that nobody would want a pair. I was very wrong. Someone ordered them from me, and as soon as she got them she sent me a message telling me how much she loved the short version! This led to my new line of earrings that I call my “Mini Series”.

Let your materials inspire you! I have a very large collection of Swarovski Crystals. I love them. I love their colors, and the way they sparkle. But I am not always entirely sure how to use them. While going through my metal beads the other day, I had this idea:

What better way to show off the beauty of Swarovski Crystals then to display them with a butterfly? For me this pairing just makes sense.

I hope that this has helped you with your beading ideas, and even inspired some beading ideas of your own. With the materials available to us, the possibilities are endless. And considering out medium, the possibilities are quite gorgeous as well. So get out there. Don’t be afraid to try something new, to learn a new technique, or to learn by watching others. Beading ideas come to us all in different ways. How you get yours is up to you. So go out there and bead! Talk to other beaders.

If you have ideas, leave a comment!! The best ideas come from each other. Beaders should support and inspire each other.

Featured Etsy Artist - RKGJewelry

In this blog I want to talk about etsy artist RKGJewelry. I ran across her in a chat room on one of the first days I entered etsy chat. I started browsing her store because her avatar caught my attention. I was instantly blow away by her shop. Not only was her jewelry beautiful, but her photographs showing off her jewelry were stunning. Unfortunately, I have not yet bought anything from her. But she is on the very top of my wish list, even my fiance knows her work by now! I encourage everyone to take a look at her shop. Here is just one example of her work:

Take a few minutes and check out her shop

Etsy Buy Handmade RKGJewelry

Howdy all. It has been a pretty busy few days for me. I have been doing a lot of work promoting Simply Raevyn. A friend of mine, who we affectionately call The Monkey, has been giving me lots of tips on keywords, social networking and things like that. So I am working hard to get the word out. I have also started a new line of earrings that I am excited about! I call it the “Mini Series”. That name makes me giggle. Basically, it is miniaturized versions of my brick stitch earrings. Most of the brick stitch that I made are over 3.5 inches long. These new ones won’t be over 2.5 inches long. They are incredibly cute. I actually got the idea from a customer of mine. She bought a pair I had listed. I really didn’t think they would sell because they were so long. But she loves them, and so does her daughter! So she suggested I make more. I am having so much fun making them.

Things have been really rough for me lately mentally. My bipolar seems to be in full swing, and making me crazy. I have been in a mania for weeks now, and it is really taking it’s toll. I am tired, cranky, and incredibly moody. I hate feeling like this. When my friend Jenn calls on the phone I can’t even bring myself to hold a normal conversation. I just sort of mumble until she gets mad enough to hang up. I feel bad when things like that happen, but I just can’t stop! I hate being so weak minded that I cannot even make myself have a conversation with my best friend of 22 years. I got some Seroquil, so at least I am sleeping better. But they seroquil certainly isn’t helping my moods. When I take it during the day it just makes me so that I don’t obsess about my moodiness.

I just realized while writing that last paragraph, that I have not talked about my mental issues much in this blog. Certainly not in detail, only briefly in passing. I think I should write about it more. When I was young, writing always made me feel better. And that is really one of my purposes for this blog. So here goes.

When I was younger, I think about 21, I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or OCD, as well as a few other things such as depression and PTSD. At first I thought it was an odd diagnosis. I did have some compulsions, but certainly nothing like what you see on movies like What About Bob. (On a side note, that is one of my all time favorite movies.) So I decided to do a little bit of looking into the disease. I ordered a book, which I now highly recommend to anyone effected by OCD. The book is called Tormenting Thoughts and Secret Rituals: The Hidden Epidemic of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Yes I know, quite a long title. But what a wonderful book! It made me realize that this intrusive, horrible thoughts I had been having were not because I was a horrid, disgusting person. They were caused by OCD. Just realizing that had such an amazing effect on me. I guess I had never really thought much about the “Obsession” part of OCD. Movies, jokes, etc. have always dealt with the “Compulsion” part for the most part. I can’t say enough about how much this book did for the way I viewed myself.

A few years later, I was told by a Psychiatrist that I was not depressed, that I in fact had Bipolar Disorder. I have to admit when I first heard that, I was very skeptical. I then told my mom of the diagnosis. My mother is an RN, and has worked on a psyche word for over a decade. Her intitial reaction was to disagree, but within seconds she was agreeing with the diagnosis. It was interesting to watch her reaction, because it sort of looked like things made sense to her all of a sudden. My lifetime of starting enormous projects and never finishing, my weird relationships with men, my spending habits, and so much more. So, I decided to look into Bipolar Disorder. Once again, much the same way as it did when I read about OCD, things started to make sense. My bipolar diagnosis has recently been further confirmed, as well as narrowed down to Bipolar I.As I have gotten older, my symptoms have actually worsened. I am to the point now where it is difficult for me to even leave the house. I can leave, although it is usually only with my fiance. I guess I look at him as my safety person. Driving used to be a huge part of my life. I loved to drive, it gave me such a sense of freedom. Now the thought of driving terrifies me. I cannot stand being in crowds, it makes me physically sick, and sometimes makes me feel as if I will pass out. I have a lot of panic attacks. Things might be a little bit different if I could afford all of the meds I need, and also if I could afford to get the therapy I need. I’m not sure really.Anyway, I wanted to take this opportunity to discuss my diagnoses. They are a huge part of my personality, and they effect me and the people in my life a lot. I used to use writing to express myself more, and it helped me feel better. I also used to use the internet to reach out to get help for things like this. I guess I am taking this opportunity to do both things. Thank you for listening.

:w

Tags: beading, bipolar, brick stitch, earrings, etsy, handmade, jewelry, networking, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD

Featured Etsy Artist - CraftySteph

In my short time on Etsy, I have come across some great artists! With that in mind, I have decided to start featuring some of my favorites in my blog. For the first one, I want to introduce you all to Craftysteph! I met her in the Etsy chat rooms. After about a week of looking at her scrunchies, I decided to order them. Although it may seem silly, I am always on the
lookout for scrunchies that can handle my hair. It is very long (almost to my butt), the strands are baby fine, and I have a ton of it. So it tends to be frizzy, tangled easy, and can destroy any scrunchie in a very short amount of time. So once craftysteph reassured me that she used high quality elastics in her scrunchies I decided to go for it. I ordered these:

And boy am I glad I did! I absolutely love them. They are very strong, and of course beautiful. She has great prices too! Of course Craftysteph sells more than just scrunchies. She has some candles that I am really eager to try out, incense, jewelry, crochet, custom graphic art, and more!

I highly recommend her shop. She is very friendly and extremely talented. Her prices are fantastic and she ships fast. Don’t see the color of scrunchies you want? Convo her!

Etsy Buy Handmade Craftysteph