simplyraevyn.com

Well it has been awhile since I have written in my blog about anything other than Etsy, and I think it is time.

I have been keeping myself very busy. I am really loving making cards. I love picking out patterned paper, and being able to play with colors. I have also been getting some custom requests from people for their events, which is very exciting to me! So I am getting a lot deeper into making cards than I ever thought I would. But it’s great. It also lets me be distracted from manically making earrings and things. However, it is difficult for me to keep up with all three of my shops at times. I have been able to establish sort of a rhythm though. The down side is it keeps me busy pretty much 24/7. I don’t let myself relax, and I think I am starting to get stressed out.

I am not sure if my mood lately is a bipolar thing or a stress thing. But I think it is a combo of both. I am snapping pretty easy lately. A quick example: The other day I stubbed my toe on a mostly empty laundry basket, so I picked up the basket and threw it against the back of our closet. Now don’t get me wrong, snapping is not a new thing to me. I have had an anger/rage issue for as long as I can remember. I just have not had a big problem with it in awhile. I really hate it, it makes me feel so out of control. I also worry if it will change the way my fiance looks at me. He is an amazing man, and he has been so accepting and supportive of me since the day we met. But I still worry. I am not worried I will hurt anyone, my family and friends are not in danger. As a matter of fact the person I tend to hurt is me. I just am so afraid of how it makes me look to others. And I am so sick of apologizing about it.

In high school I would punch brick walls, and I remember one event when I was meeting with my guidance counselor that I picked up a chair and threw it. Now I do not do these things to intimidate people. I think that the fact that I do these things just as often, if not more so, when I am alone then when I am with other people is proof of that. I just get filled with such anger, that I have to do something. When I punched walls I would look for the brick walls instead of the “softer” plaster walls. I am not writing this to say I am afraid I will start doing small things to hurt myself. I have no urge to punch a wall or anything like that. I just hate feeling such anger inside, and it is usually for no reason at all!

I am also crying a lot these days. I don’t just sit on the couch and cry. But I cry over just about every show or movie we watch. Once again, it annoys me because it just makes me feel so out of control. It is weird, because I really like where I am. I love being here in Texas, I love being with Paul, and I am very proud of the progress I have made with my Etsy shops. But I still have all of this inner turmoil. I know, that sounds so totally emo. But I really don’t know how else to explain it.

I think what I just need to do is get back to my shrink. I am having a really hard time making myself leave the house, and appointments almost worsen that because all I do is think about the fact that I have to leave from the time I make the appointment, until the time I go. But I really just need to buck up and do it. And I need to get myself on a medicine regime. Well not get myself, but work with my shrink to figure out what will be the best path. I am 32 now, and this is really not cute anymore.

Anyway, those are thing things going on in my head the past few days. Like I said, things are good. I am just going crazy :p But I love where I am, I love Paul, and I love the business I am trying to build. So I know I can make this better, I just need to take the steps to do it!

Well thank you for reading my ramblings Talk to you soon!
:w

Tags: anger, anxiety, beading, bipolar, crying, etsy, handmade, jewelry, Life, mood swings, Raevyn, rage

Well it is time to get serious. I have some plans for this blog, and I will be working on it a lot this week. For starters, I will be adding the blog links to my fellow members of Etsy. They are listed on the side under blogroll. If you are a member of etsy and you have a blog, let me know about it! I would love to exchange links.

I am also working on some contest ideas, and I am writing some featured Etsy artist articles to post. I love the Etsy community, and I want to help my fellow Etsyians Hopefully I can do that with this blog.

So let’s see, what else is going on with me. Well I have been pretty manic for a few weeks now. Not sleeping much, antsy as hell, and some weird panic attacks. I am trying to make it productive right now though. I am trying to thoroughly clean the house. That includes getting rid of a lot of things. I am quite a pack rat, and it is very hard to break that. But when I am like this I find it a little easier. So I started bagging things up and we are going to bring them to Goodwill and the Salvation Army. We brought one load of things today. We have a small apartment and Paul’s mom is living with us. So space is at a premium. Especially with my beading and card making projects spread all over the place. So today I started going through our closet and I am going to keep going until everything has been gone through.

I am also getting ready for Christmas. I love Christmas! I love the lights and the songs and of course the silly Christmas specials on T.V. Like Frosty, The Grinch, etc. I have a lot of wrapping to do since I have decided to spoil my two best friends. They are both having a rough year and they need some spoiling. I found some amazing etsyians that would trade with me, and I was able to get a ton of things for Tanya and Jennifer. I can’t wait until they get to open everything. I am getting all of their gifts wrapped and packed up. Then on Wednesday I am gonna ship them Priority Mail. I also got a lot of things for my little sister, Sara. She is my angel. I miss her a lot. I was really hoping that we would be able to make it to Vermont for Christmas to see my family. But it really isn’t the best choice for us right now financially. So we are going to try to get up there in February for my birthday.

This was my first Christmas season selling my jewelry. It went pretty well, I had quite a few sales. However, I wasn’t ready. Next season I am going to make sure to be a lot more stocked up with things like brick stitch, necklaces, sets and bracelets. Those were all huge sellers and I think if I had more in my inventory, I would have sold more. So this was a good learning experience. I also donated 10% of my sales to the Salvation Army and I have to admit that that has made me feel pretty good

Whew I babbled much more than I thought I would! Guess that means I should blog more often. I am gonna try to go and get some sleep now. But I will be back tomorrow! I have so much planned, I can’t wait to get started!

:w

Tags: beading, Christmas, contest, etsy, featured artists, Goodwill, handmade, jewelry, link exchange, Salvation Army

Whew I have been busy! Sadly my blog and webpage have suffered, but I am doing my best to right that wrong now. I have had some changes to my shops, and working on a lot of new things!

The biggest change is that I opened a new shop! I opened a card shop called Peculiar Parchment. I am having so much fun with it. Basically I sell new and vintage cards there. Right now I primarily have mini cards and vintage cards, but I will be adding a lot more. Including invitations, custom sets and more! I really love making the cards, although it certainly has added a large amount of work to this already busy holiday season. But take a look at my new shop! I would love to hear some feedback on it.

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Besides working on the new shop, I have been working hard on increasing my jewelry inventories, in both shops. For Black Friday through Cyber Monday I will be offering free shipping in all of my shops and I am really hoping that this drives a lot of traffic to my shops. So my goal is to have a lot of new inventory for people to browse. I am also making holiday themed jewelry. I am really proud of a lot of my new work!

So hopefully this month I can keep up with my blog and website a bit more. I am overwhelmed with the amount of work I have set for myself, but I am determined to get it done. And I know that keeping up with this blog and my website are worth the time!

Well I am off for today. I made a lot of chandelier and Swarovski crystal earrings this morning, and I need to get them photographed and listed. I hope that everyone is having a great weekend. I know this upcoming week is a hectic one, but make sure not to lose sight of what is important. The true spirit of Thanksgiving, and exactly what it means to each of us.

Tags: beaded, black friday, brick stitch, cards, chandelier, Christmas, cyber monday, handmade, holiday, jewelry, shopping, swarovski, Thanksgiving

Well we have been home for a week now. It took a bit to get settled back in. Although we left Hartford, CT late Wednesday afternoon, we didn’t get home to Lubbock until 6am on Thursday. So it was a long trip to say the least. We took a two hour nap. Then Paul went to work and I got up. I just sort of fiddled around on the computer for the day. I wanted to bead, but I was so exhausted.

Now it is a week later.  Paul has worked every day since we got back. We expected that to happen. He is training a new cashier and trying to get the store in order. He has tomorrow off though. He will only need to go in for a bit at closing to make sure the new cashier has things under control. I have been working hard on my etsy shops. I decided to start making a goal list for every month. I used to do that, but I had fallen out of the habit. However I am ready to take my shops to the next level, and I think setting some good goals every month is really going to help with that. I am also working hard on fall and Halloween jewelry.

Although Christmas is still 4 months away, I am starting to get ready for it. I wasn’t selling my jewelry last Christmas, so I am not sure if my shops will be busy or not. But I want to be ready if they are! I have added gift certificates for both of my shops. I am also working on jewelry sets, and “higher” end jewelry made with  more expensive materials. I won’t list them quite yet. I would like to first clear out more of my Summer Clearance items.  I also want to get a lot of brick stitch done for Christmas.

I am also making plans for my website and blog. There are a lot of improvements I want to implement on both of them.  For example on my website I am going to have places that display my jewelry more prominently. And for the blog, I am going to make it much more eye catching. And have new places to feature Etsy and it’s sellers. I will also start featuring an artist once a week in my blog. Every Sunday I will feature an Etsy artist and their shop. This is a schedule I will stick to. I might even do more during the week if someone catches my eye.

Well hopefully things will get more exciting around here for you readers I need to go and get some bracelets made. See you on Sunday at the latest!

:w

Tags: beading, beads, earrings, jewelry, Raevyn, vacation

Oops I guess I skipped blogging for a few days. No big surprise :p We are back in Vernon, Vermont now. The Maine trip was fantastic. I did so much more than I thought I would while I was there though. Paul and I did a lot of walking around, both on the beach and on the pier. Embarrassingly I admit that I am proud of myself. I did not let me mood and my agoraphobia beat me on this vacation. I had a lot of fun. I was more social than I have been in years.

We headed back to Vermont on Saturday. I must admit by the time we got to my Mom’s house I was absolutely exhausted. My legs hurt and my eyes were burning. Mom went and got us some awesome Chinese food. It was from my favorite Chinese food place. Then Paul and I headed to bed early. We watched “Lady in the Water” and got some cuddle time in.

Well this vacation is almost over. I am sad in some ways. I will miss my Mom, Sara and Will very much. But I do miss our house, the home that we have built together. It may not be much, but it is ours. It is the first time since I first moved out of my Mom’s house that I feel secure. I know I am where I should be. It will feel good to settle back into it. And of course I am going to hug those cats of mine for hours, even though they will hate every minute of it!

Not too long of an entry today. I am watching a movie with Sara and Paul and drinking a Corona: Very relaxed. I will probably write tomorrow.

:w

Well we woke up early this morning and got ready for our Maine vacation. My mom rented us a motel room on Old Orchard Beach. Sara, Mom, Will, Paul and me all get to spend two nights on the beach in Maine. This is me and Paul’s first time in Maine. The trip was about 4 hours long but it didn’t seem that long. The scenary is beautiful and we got to drive along the coastline for awhile. Since we live in Lubbock, we obviously don’t see a lot of that.

The Hotel is beautiful, and it couldn’t be in a better spot. It is literally right on the beach. It is also right next to the amusement park and the pier. We have been taking pictures like crazy. Unfortunately I forgot our USB cable so that I could post pictured while we are here. But once we get home to Texas I will make sure to post a lot of pictures.

Every Thursday night on Old Orchard Beach there is a fireworks show during the summer. It happened only a few yards away from our Hotel so we had awesome seats. I did spend a whole lot of time walking today. We walked up and down the pier. And Paul and I had a beautiful walk on the beach. We also walked with Sara on the beach; picking up shells and beautiful stones that I am going to try to use in my jewelry. Tomorrow we have all day here. We won’t be leaving until Saturday. I am hoping that I can ignore the pain in my knees enough tomorrow to have another great day.

Well I am gonna lay in bed and try to get sleep. We are all sharing a room, and I am worried that my insomnia is going to be a problem tonight. Usually I can just watch TV until I pass out, but tonight I would be afraid that it will bother the others. So I am going to take some sleeping meds and relax. Hopefully all of todays activities will make me pass out.

:w

Today was a better day than I thought it would be. As I mentioned yesterday we went to my Aunt Judith’s house to help her clean up. But I had the fun task of sorting her beads. I loved it!! She has so many! I got into her beading room and immediately announced that I was in bead heaven. She had bags and bags of beads that she had ordered on the internet and had never even opened. I mean thousands of dollars of beads. It actually helped me think of more materials that I want to work with. She works with much chunkier beads than I usually do. But I saw some things I would really love to try. She also gave me a few pretty things. I can’t wait to get home and try them out. Judith was so happy when we got all her beads sorted and put away. She loves to bead, but just hasn’t had the inspiration to do it in awhile. I think that the time we spent today has inspired her and she will start again soon. My mom, sister, step dad, fiancé and friend Jenn worked on the downstairs of her house while we sorted the beads. They did an amazing job and Judith seemed very happy with everything that was accomplished today. I am glad. I love her a lot, and she has always bent over backwards for me. It was nice to be part of something today that helped her out.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Paul has lost his wallet so we are going insane trying to find it; mostly because his driver’s license is in there and it is hard to fly without that. But he looked up on the website today and we will still be able to get home if he doesn’t find it. It is just going to take more security screening. Which is fine, I can deal with that as long as we can get back to Texas.

I also went through more clothes. Mom has been giving me a ton of clothes to sort through to take back home with me. I am super excited to have so many new clothes, but trying on clothes has never really been my cup of tea. So I am slowly getting them all tried on while we are here.

Tomorrow Paul and I are going to go on a drive and do a little site seeing. That way we can get some pictures taken and spend some time together. I really can’t wait.

Well like I said, today wasn’t uber eventful. But I am keeping up with my promise to blog every day. See you tomorrow.

:w

Tags: beading, beads, family, maine, shopping, sister, texas, vacation, vermont

Howdy. Today has been an odd day for me. I get in these moods, where I just feel unattached to everything.  I have no passion for anything.  These days really bother me.  Although today wasn’t to the extreme that they usually are, it still bothered me. I just look at things and feel blank. It is sort of hard to explain for me. However I am proud of one thing. On days like this I usually just hide. Watch movies and totally remove myself from everyone. But I did not do that today. I don’t want to waste a day of this vacation. Especially since this mood was “manageable”.

Our main activity today was blueberry picking. It was actually much more than I thought it would be. The weather was perfect. It was cool with a beautiful breeze. We had fun casually picking through the bushes, eating some really perfect blueberries! Of course we picked a ton of them. We are going to use some I our fruit salad, and mom is trying to think of some other ways to use the rest. Hopefully she will make some blueberry jam for me to take back to Texas with us. She really makes fantastic jam.

We also went to the used food store. At least that is what mom and I call it. It is one of those stores that sell dented cans, closeout items, and that sort of thing. We decided to go there to stock up on snack food for our Maine trip. We are going to Old Orchard Beach during peak time, so things are going to be expensive.  So the more things we bring the better.

Right now we are all sitting in the living room. My family is watching Lost. I don’t really get into the show much so I am doing a little bit of work for my shop. Tomorrow we are going to my Aunt Judith’s house to help her clean. She has some health problems and has not been able to keep up with her house. Especially since she has 3 dogs, two of them are very old and not too healthy. It really does not sound like a fun project for me, but I get a special out in this one. I get to spend the day going through my Aunt’s beads. She has bought many many beads over the past few years but she has not put them away. She has also not beaded for years. So since I have serious knee problems and can’t get into the heavy cleaning, and my Aunt specifically requested that I sort her beads, I will do the kind of cleaning that I enjoy. Bead cleaning!

Well I will write more tomorrow. So far so good on my pledge to blog daily :p Let’s see if I can keep it up.

:w

Tags: beading, beads, blueberry, family, maine, shopping, sister, texas, vacation, vermont

Today has been a long day. I woke up grumpy and never quite shook it. It rained like crazy all day, which I actually quite enjoyed. It was nice to see a nice heavy rain. It really doesn’t rain often in Lubbock.

The best part of my day was that my cousin Debbie called here today. I always explain our relationship this way. If we lived close to eachother, we would be best friends. However since she grew up in Florida, I have never been able to spend the time with her that I would like to. And since we are so much alike, we are awful at keeping in touch. But I gave her my cellphone number and it seems she spends time online now. She has a myspace page. So I am feeling more comfortable this time that we will stay in touch. Especially since I am so determined to keep the important people close to me. Moving away and getting older has made me realize how important some people really are to me. So I am going to make an extra effort to keep in touch with her, even if it is only through emails.

My cousin Jen came over today. Before I moved away she was always the one that cut my hair for me. So I asked her to give me a trim while I am here. My hair is longer than it has ever been, almost to my butt. But I seriously need the split ends chopped. So she agreed And when I offered to pay her she said no. So instead I offered her whatever she wanted my from jewelry inventory. She picked out a silver and pink bracelet. That makes me happy. I love to see people I know wearing my creations.

I am about to go and clean up the kitchen for my mom. We had some awesome food today. My mom is famous for her potato salad and she made that today. I would go lay in bed, when my mood is like it has been all day I usually like to escape and watch a movie or two. But we just dropped my friend Jenn off at the Brattleboro radio station. She does a radio show there every Saturday night. I need to pick her back up in two hours so I will keep myself busy trying to clean up. There are a lot of people in this house and I don’t want my mom to feel that she needs to clean up after all of us. I will write more tomorrow. My Aunt Judith is coming over tomorrow, and I can’t wait to see her!

 :w 

Well the vacation continues! We picked Jenn up yesterday and she is staying at my mom’s house now with us. We had fun last night. We did a lot of swimming. I managed to exercise my leg a lot. This is both good and bad. I want to make sure to start exercising it every day while we are here so that I can exercise it in the pool. Maybe I can build up some strength in it so that when we head back home I can start doing nightly exercises with it. The only reason I say it is bad is because of course both of my knees are incredibly sore today.

Even with the sore knees I did manage to get out today. We actually took a trip to downtown Brattleboro. I have wanted to visit my favorite bead store, Beadnicks. It is this little bead boutique right in the middle of down town Brattleboro. It is way overpriced, just like all of the other shops downtown.  store just to look at things. And I was inspired to finally start beading. I also love their selections, and the fact that I can actually hold those beads in my hand before buying them. So I got to take my kid sister their today. It was great. I got a few things that I really have wanted and have not been able to find them online. But more importantly, I think that my little sister has now been inspired to start beading. She always sort of wanted to start beading. Before I moved away she even tried it a few times with me. But when we were in Beadnicks, her eyes lit up and she told me that now she really wants to bead.  I am so happy. She is this amazingly talented and bright 13 years old. And now that I live so far away, I really miss her. I am struggling to find activities that we can still do together. So when I get home I am going to make a beading starter kit, and pack up my beading instruction books for her. I think she will be great at it. I can’t see what she creates!

We also went swimming again today. I wasn’t as active in the pool today as I was yesterday. I feel totally wiped out today. To be honest I just want to go to sleep lol. But that is a good thing. I really thought that my insomnia was going to make this trip unbearable. But things are going well for me mentally. My mood swings are staying manageable so far. I hope that it stays this way. But if it doesn’t, I know my family will understand.

Okay that is it for tonight I think. We are all settling in to watch some movies on the new TV, and my mom is making dinner.

:w

Tags: beading, beads, family, maine, shopping, sister, texas, vacation, vermont